Pluralism At It's Best: A Jew Has A Buddhist Epiphany

Posted July 30, 2008, 09:53 AM EDT

Larry Gellman, The Huffington Post

One of the many outstanding things about leaving Arizona to spend the summer in Aspen is the opportunity to meet, talk to, and learn from the amazing people who come to speak and teach at the Aspen Institute.

Last week was Aspen at its best. On Monday we got to hear King Abdullah of Jordan and a few days later I participated in a three-day symposium that featured His Holiness the Dalai Lama and several of the most highly regarded masters of Tibetan Buddhism in the world.

What better place for me--a self described student and proponent of Jewish wisdom--to put the notion of pluralism to the test. As my readers know, I have identified pluralism as the key to addressing virtually every religious, political, and personal problem in the world.

I came into this group knowing absolutely nothing about Buddhism other than the fact that I have come to resemble Buddha physically to a distressing extent in recent years.

But that changed very quickly. During the first day and a half before the arrival of His Holiness I had the opportunity to study with two amazing Buddhist masters.

Read the full story.

Heard From The Tables

Gayl H., Florida

“This is an answer to my personal beliefs and prayers!”

Dialogue vs Debate

Before continuing our review of Appreciative Inquiry and the ways in which it improves the experiences shared by our Common Tables Members, let's first take a week or so to be sure we are all on the same page as far as understanding the differences between Dialogue and Debate.

First let's agree that the differences between and among dialogue and debate should not imply that dialogue is "good" and that debate is "bad." There are times when debate is useful instructional strategy - though we suggest that in most cases your Common Tables gathering is not an appropriate place for debate.

The the list below is simply intended to highlight some of the differences between Dialogue and Debate:

• Dialogue is collaborative: two or more sides work together toward common understanding.
• Debate is oppositional: two sides oppose each other and attempt to prove each other wrong.
• In dialogue, finding common ground is the goal.
• In debate, winning is the goal.
• In dialogue, one listens to the other side(s) in order to understand, find meaning and find agreement.
• In debate, one listens to the other side in order to find flaws and to counter its arguments.
• Dialogue enlarges and possibly changes a participants point of view.
• Debate affirms a participant's own point of view.
• Dialogue reveals assumptions for re-evaluation.
• Debate defends assumptions as truth.
• Dialogue causes introspection on ones own position.
• Debate causes critique of the other position.
• Dialogue opens the possibility of reaching a better solution than any of the original solutions.
• Debate defends one's own positions as the best solution and excludes other solutions.
• Dialogue creates an open-minded attitude: an openness to being wrong and an openness to change.
• Debate creates a close-minded attitude, a determination to be right.
• In dialogue, one submits ones best thinking, knowing that other people's reflections will help improve it rather than destroy it.
• In debate, one submits one's best thinking and defends it against challenge to show that it is right.
• Dialogue calls for temporarily suspending one's beliefs.
• Debate calls for investing wholeheartedly in one's beliefs.
• In dialogue, one searches for basic agreements.
• In debate, one searches for glaring differences.
• In dialogue one searches for strengths in the other positions.
• In debate one searches for flaws and weaknesses in the other position.
• Dialogue involves a real concern for the other person and seeks to not alienate or offend.
• Debate involves a countering of the other position without focusing on feelings or relationship and often belittles or deprecates the other person.
• Dialogue assumes that many people have pieces of the answer and that together they can put them into a workable solution.
• Debate assumes that there is a right answer and that someone has it.
• Dialogue remains open-ended.
• Debate implies a conclusion.

Adapted from a paper prepared by Shelley Berman, which was based on discussions of the Dialogue Group of the Boston Chapter of Educators for Social Responsibility (ESR).

Friday's Food for Thought

"Honest differences are often a healthy sign of progress."

Mahatma Gandhi (1869 - 1948)

"A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices."

William James (1842 - 1910)

". . . you just have to trust and eat."

In a recent interview a reporter asked, "Why is it that the way you do things at Common Tables seems to be so effective?"

To which I responded, “How it all works is a bit of a mystery. But sometimes you just have to trust and eat.”

Ethic of Reciprocity - The Golden Rule

"Every religion emphasizes human improvement, love, respect for others, sharing other people's suffering. On these lines every religion had more or less the same viewpoint and the same goal." The Dalai Lama

The various religious, spiritual and philosophical groups differ widely in their beliefs, practices and concepts of diety. Given this diversity, it is interesting that these groups are nearly unanimious in their belief that each of us should treat others in a fair and decent manner. We find in the holy texts and/or in the writings of the leaders of almost all of these groups passages which promote what is frequently called the Ethic of Reciprocity. In North America it is most commonly know as the Golden Rule and is most often expressed as "Do unto others as you would wish them do unto you."

For many in the Common Tables family the high points of their experience are found in the discovery of the common grounds, the shared beliefs that are held by those at their Table. While we will return to a discussion of the Ethic of Reciprocity a number of times over the next few months, we simply close this week's entry with a couple of examples:

Brahmanism: "This is the sum of Dharma [duty]: Do naught unto others which would cause you pain if done to you". Mahabharata, 5:1517

Confucianism: "Tse-kung asked, 'Is there one word that can serve as a principle of conduct for life?' Confucius replied, 'It is the word 'shu' -- reciprocity. Do not impose on others what you yourself do not desire.' Doctrine of the Mean 13.3

Appreciative Inquiry & Common Tables

We at Common Tables have been working to develop an optional dialogue track for our Tables . . . a track based on "Appreciative Inquiry" - an exciting dialogue based system for creating positive change. In Common Tables we will be suggesting Appreciative Inquiry as an approach to encourage our members to study, discuss, learn from and build on what's working in interfaith relations, rather than simply trying to fix what isn't.

In today's entry we begin a weekly discussion about Appreciative Inquiry - what is it? why is it producing such extraordinary results across such a broad spectrum of organizations? and how do we see it being implemented in Common Tables?

We are going to start this week by taking a look at the first two of the "Eight Principals of Appreciative Inquiry". This material is from the wonderful book The Power of Appreciative Inquiry by Diana Whitney and, a special friend of Common Tables, Amanda Trosten-Bloom:

Principal Number 1: The Constructionist Principal - Words Creat Worlds

• Reality, as we know it, is a subjective vs. objective state.
• It is socially created, through language and conversations.

Principal Number 2: The Simultaniety Principle - Inquiry Creates Change

• Inquiry is intervention.
• The moment we ask a question, we begin to create a change.

We'll continue our look at Appreciative Inquiry over the coming weeks. It is a topic you'll find well worth your time to follow.

Table Grace - Part 4

It has been a month since we last shared some of our favorite table blessings from our interfaith collection. Today we offer an example from the Eastern Orthodox Tradition and one from Swami Paramananda:

O Most Holy Trinity, have mercy on us! Lord, cleanse us from our sins! Master, pardon our transgressions! Holy One, visit and heal our infirmities for Thy name's sake.
Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen.

Lord, have mercy! (3 times)

O Christ God, bless the food and drink of Thy servants, for Thou art holy, always, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen.

Eastern Orthodox

May the Lord accept this, our offering, and bless our food that it may bring us strength in our body, vigor in our mind, and selfless devotion in our hearts for His service.

Swami Paramananda

Heard From The Tables

Mike C., Colorado, Common Tables Member

“I will use whatever means are available to me to help you promote Common Tables as a way to foster love, tolerance and peace among all people. Let our collective involvement in Common Tables be an example to others. Let us show what people of different faiths and beliefs can do when they celebrate their shared commitment to Universal Spiritual Truth while each follows the tenets of their own faith authentically.”

Friday's Food for Thought

"I would like the church to be a place where the questions of people are honored rather than a place where we have all the answers. The church has to get out of propaganda. The future will involve us in more interfaith dialogue. ... We cannot say we have the only truth."

Bishop John Shelby Spong

Listening: The Language of Peace - Part 3

Attention-Focusing Practice

Here is a simple way to build your attention focusing skills . . . and all it requires is a television and a few minutes of undisturbed time. This is all you need to do:

1. Find a television program where the speaker talks for several minutes at a time without interruption. Political speeches are generally easy to find and can be particularly challenging to listen to.



2. Pay attention to both words and body language. Give the speaker your full attention. Each time your attention drifts, refocus on the speaker. Don’t get discouraged if at first you can only stay focused for 15 or 20 seconds at a time. It will get easier with practice.



3. The goal is to continue regular practice sessions until you get to the point where you are able to stay focused for ten minutes or longer. (It is important that you actually time yourself. It is easy to over estimate time when you are trying to listen.)
   Those members with experience in meditation or the martial arts will recognize this type of practice. Attention focusing is a mental discipline and requires practice – regardless of the context.

Conclusion

Most of us are far better at talking than we are at listening; however, listening is a skill we can all learn. All it takes is a desire to be a better listener and practice, practice, and more practice. To learn to focus attention on a speaker without judgment or internally generated thoughts will for many be the hardest part of the Common Tables experience, and yet it is perhaps the most important skill you can bring to your table.

Listening: The Language of Peace - Part 2

Attention-Focusing Skills

If you are unable to focus, in a sustained manner, on the words, meaning and body language of the speaker, you will have trouble really “getting” what the speaker is communicating. In term of the Common Tables experience, you cannot be a good listener if:

• you are judging the speaker and/or the speaker’s belief system while he/she is speaking. Time you spend in judgment is going to interfere with the goal of understanding the speaker from the speaker’s perspective.
• you allow your attention to drift while the other person is speaking.
• you spend most of the other person’s conversational time waiting for a chance to ask someone to pass the mashed potatoes.
• you are mentally rehearsing your response and eagerly waiting for “your turn” to speak.

In short, if while someone else is talking you are engaged mentally or physically in any activity other than focusing on the speaker, you can’t be a good listener.

". . . a beautiful grass roots effort"

Dr. Roger W. Teel, Senior Minister and Spiritual Director, Mile Hi Church, Lakewood, Colorado

"Common Tables is a beautiful grass roots effort . . . the kind that holds the greatest promise for building bridges of communication and understanding in an increasingly complicated and challenged world.

"I appreciate and respect the founding members of this unique project for masterminding a brilliantly simple and time-honored approach for building interfaith understanding and global harmony: sharing a table with others...especially those of diverse beliefs, cultures and faiths.

"Problem solving and peace emerge when hearts open and connect. So I invite you to get involved in this powerful initiative.

"Pull up a chair and let the healing and bonding begin."

The Wisdom of a 10 Year Old

Listening: The Language of Peace

We continue our series on Conversation with a few comments on listening.

Conversation has been defined as: "A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener."

Over the next couple of weeks we'll take a closer look at the art of listening and we'll again start by taking a look at the Common Tables member's guide "Conversation: The Main Course":

The Language of Peace

“The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.” - Ralph Nichols

"Regardless of your belief system, one of the best things you can do for yourself and your Table is to improve your listening skills. Interestingly, within the context of your Common Tables experience, you will find that the best listeners are listened to more than the poor listeners. The best listeners at your Table will be seen as more caring and will have a greater influence within your group than those who are not skilled listeners.

"This short article will serve as an introduction to the art of listening. Throughout your time in the Common Tables family, we will offer materials to help you develop your listening skills. Not only will you be able to apply what you learn to enhance your Common Tables experience, you will find improved listening skills helpful in all of your relationships.

Don’t Confuse Hearing With Listening

"Listening is something you choose to do . . . something you can decide to practice and become more effective at. Hearing is a biological function; listening is a learned skill.
To be an effective listener requires mastering two groups of skills: the first is the ability to focus your attention on the speaker. The second is the ability to communicate your understanding of the speaker’s words and meaning.

"Of the two, it is easier to develop the communication skills needed to paraphrase (to express an understanding of the details of what the speaker said) and to demonstrate empathetic listening (by expressing your understanding of the speaker’s feelings) than it is to acquire the self discipline needed to focus attention. While these communication skills are important – if you are unable to communicate your understanding you will reap few of the benefits of effective listening – they are the easiest of the skill sets to develop."

More next week . . .

Heard From The Tables

Dr. Duane Troxel,
Administrator of the Baha'i Center of Metro Denver, Chair of the Denver Baha'i Assembly, and Common Tables Member:

"Put me down as one of those who enthusiastically supports what Common Tables is doing to build bridges between faith communities. Although I cannot speak for the entire Baha'i Faith, I can speak for myself as a Baha'i. The Baha'i Faith seeks to promote unity in all its forms; this too seems an important function of Common Tables".

Friday's Food For Thought

“Fundamentalism isn't about religion, it's about power.”

Salman Rushdie

“Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion--several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbour as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn't straight.”

Mark Twain

"Eat, Pray, Love"

Monday Media Review

Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman’s Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia
by Elizabeth Gilbert

Gilbert fully engages the reader, sustaining a charming, funny tone in this glorious, heartfelt memoir. Finding herself full of despair following a messy divorce, the author embarks on a journey of self discovery by equally dividing a year among three countries; Italy, India and Indonesia.

First, the pleasure of savoring Italy’s delectable delights (lots of pasta and pizza!); next, time to pray, search and reflect at an ashram in India; and finally, balance and love in Bali. What fun it is to join her on her journey and watch her as she evolves along the way.

In addition to being a superb writer, her ability to bring the characters to life pulled me in from the start. I found her insights inspirational, her humor uplifting and her honesty enjoyable. In the end, I felt as if I had made a new friend. This book left me wanting more!

“I keep remembering one of my Guru’s teachings about happiness. She says that people universally tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will maybe descend upon you like fine weather if you’re fortunate enough. But that’s not how happiness works. Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it, you must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.”

5 Stars!!
Original Release Date: January 30, 2007
Pages: 352

Table Grace - Part 3

This month's table grace comes to us from the Buddhist tradition.

(serving the food)
In this food I see clearly the presence of the entire universe supporting my existence.

(looking at the plate of food)
All living beings are struggling for life.May they all have enough food to eat today.

(just before eating)
The plate is filled with food. I am aware that each morsel is the fruit of much hard work by those who produced it.

(beginning to eat)
With the first taste, I promise to practice loving kindness. With the second, I promise to relieve the suffering of others. With the third, I promise to see others' joy as my own. With the fourth, I promise to learn the way of nonattachment and equanimity.

(after the meal)
The plate is empty. My hunger is satisfied. I vow to live for the benefit of all living beings.

Buddhist

Friday's Food for Thought

This week we offer three thoughts to ponder from Hans Küng, a Catholic priest, Swiss theologian and, since 1995, President of the Foundation for a Global Ethic.

"That means that every human being - without distinction of sex, age, race, skin color, language, religion, political view, or national or social origin - possesses an inalienable and untouchable dignity."

"We are conscious that religions cannot solve the economic, political and social problems of this earth."

"There will be no peace among the nations without peace among the religions. There will be no peace among the religions without dialogue among the religions."